


Regrets

by xoneworldx



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Implied Relationships, M/M, One Shot, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 00:57:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3590313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoneworldx/pseuds/xoneworldx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a lot of things Minho regrets. Leaving Taemin behind is the biggest regret by far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

Minho had a lot of regrets.

 

 

_Dear Minho:_

_Remember when we were just small children in kindergarten? When we were innocent and didn’t know of the hardships in the world? And when we would hide together in the woods? It was our spot to just get away from everyone. And how about in middle school, when you were constantly bullied because of your big eyes? I would find you alone in the locker rooms, your head in your hands and wearing such a sullen expression. I would wrap you in my arms and tell you how special you were, and that your eyes were what made you ‘Minho’. And do you remember when we reached high school? I came to you when I found out my parents were getting a divorce. I was so sad but you cheered me up and took me to get ice cream._

_What happened? What happened to us? We used to be attached to the hip but that all changed when we reached college. You got a girlfriend and were busy with sports. I was busy with dance and work. You became popular whereas I didn’t want to socialize with the assholes you called friends._

_I miss you, hyung. I miss you a lot. I want you to know that you’re still my best friend and I’ll always be there for you until the end of time._

_When you get the chance, call me. I’d like to catch up with you. You know my number._

_I want to be close to you again. Can we be friends like we used to be, or will your popularity get in the way?_

_Please talk to me again._

_Later, hyung._

_Love, Taemin_

 

It had been two months since Taemin had written that letter in pretty, blue ink because he knew Minho’s favorite color is blue. Minho had received it in his mailbox the day after Taemin had sent it and he wondered why he didn’t reply. It was his popularity—no, it was because he was ashamed of himself. He felt like a complete ass and that’s what he was. He wanted to see Taemin so badly, wanting to renew their old friendship and be truly happy, but he just couldn’t bear to see the younger’s face. Not after the bad he had done. Not after out casting his only one, true friend like an idiot.

If he only replied to that letter then, maybe things would have turned out differently.

If he had only replied then, maybe Taemin would still be alive. Though, maybe fate would have been a dick and made things happen like they did anyway because life is cruel like that.

When Minho was called by Taemin’s mother about the news of his passing, he didn’t know what to think, but, “How could he be dead?”

How could he?

It didn’t seem possible.

Happy, cheerful, kind Taemin was gone at the mere age of twenty, far too young to be lying six feet beneath the Earth, cold and lifeless.

And now it was only a mere week since Taemin’s funeral service and Minho was trying to get past the never ending guilt living in his heart. He wished he could have been a better friend to one of the only people in his life that could make him smile.

Taemin didn’t die from a car accident, he wasn’t sick with any terminal illness—Taemin was allergic to bee stings and was very unfortunate to get stung by one and not have his epinephrine shot with him.

Minho was horrible and he felt horrible and new that nothing now could ever help Taemin. He couldn’t go back in time like Harry and Hermione did to save a hippogriff. There was no going back in time to be a better friend, a better person.

Now, all he had was the present and the future without the person who meant so much to him.

Minho regretted a lot of things. He regretted not being a better person. He regretted getting involved with assholes that made him feel insecure. He regretted not doing what he should have done.

But Minho wasn’t going to make those mistakes again. Minho wasn’t going to be the asshole Taemin must have thought he was. Minho wasn’t going to forget Taemin anymore.

Minho will forever feel the guilt of leaving his best friend behind and not being there for him when he needed Minho the most. Minho would forever regret that, but Minho was going to be better now.

Minho was going to be better, starting off with visiting Taemin’s gravesite every day, sharing his thoughts, singing, venting, crying, smiling, and being.

Minho smiled sadly to himself, staring down at Taemin’s name printed in a pretty font on the headstone, the blue flowers in the vase beside it swaying as a light breeze flew by.

 

 

“Hey, Taemin…I’m here now.”


End file.
